A Petal Down The River
by Chocolate Roses
Summary: Ayame finally gets what she's always wanted Kouga. But, in a turn of emotions, she decides it's best to just run away after being mated then to be with him. KougaAyame.
1. Chapter 1

A Petal Down The River

By Rose

:.:In Revenge, Who Wins:.:

I knelt next to to green-tinted river, running my hands through the water. Little voices in my head were filling me with lies, lies that were just there to hurt me more and more. I wanted to smile, I wanted happiness.

The God's forsake me, and I have been damned.

I don't know what my tribe will become, I don't know how we will survive-but somehow, I guess, we'll have to manage. It wasn't love anymore, it wasn't love that pained my heart-but lack there of.

Kouga said today would be the day he returned, and he said he'd make his decision today about conjoining. I both feared and anticipated it, but I think, in the end, fear one. I wasn't scared, no, I hated the idea of him saying yes and me loving him-me giving myself to him again only to be torn apart.

I feared my own emotions.

Grandfather was well on his way to death, old and decaying, but he was still here. Maybe he was holding out, holding out to when he can finally just let go. I wish I could help him, help him drift out to sea in eternal happiness and ease. I couldn't, though, could I? How could I? Look at Kouga, that beast of a man. How dare he! Rage consumed me, and before I knew it, I had splashed the water and began storming around hitting trees and anything. I felt blind rage, rage that only mad me even madder that I felt it. I wanted to feel pain, I wanted pain instead of rage, but it wouldn't come.

He was both nice and mean, bipolar if you will. How could I ever compete with Kagome for him? Kagome was so sweet, so kind and gentle. If Kouga loved her the way I thought he did, they'd be perfect for eachother. Kouga and I would only fight until one of us died… And, chances were, he'd kill me. First on the inside with my heart, and then mental fatigue, and then physical fatigue until I just died completely and shut down. But, he'd be happy then, wouldn't he? He'd get the land, and Kagome…

If I were dead after we mated…

Kagome was human.

It was like all of this had just hit me, just now. Kouga was a perfect leader, and he didn't need me. The only time he'd need me was to mate with me so the pacts would join, and after that, it wouldn't matter if I was alive or dead. If we mated, and I gave myself to him, and the packs joined, that'd be it, he wouldn't need me. I could just die and give him everything he ever wanted…

Was I cynical? Was I a horrible person for thinking this?

Maybe not death…

I stared at the last tree I had hit in my rage, a tall tree, lumbering in height. My hands were bleeding now, but I didn't care. I had the perfect plan now.

I'd mate with Kouga, run away, and live alone while he ran over the packs with Kagome. It was perfect, there were no flaws. No other male would try to take me, so heart ache wouldn't be a matter in this- and since Kouga didn't love me…

I felt a slight pain, even admitting this to myself hurt…

…Kouga didn't love me… I took a deep breath physically, before finishing mentally that he wouldn't follow because he didn't love me. And it was the hardest thing in my life to admit, and I knew that even in the many years to come, I would never get over it.

One night with Kouga…

One night to love him, and for him to…

…

To make love to me.

I ran back then, back home to grandfather hurriedly. I was no longer scared of Kouga's decision. If he said no, I'd live with this pack until we died-which would more than likely be inevitable. If he said yes, then the previous plan would go into action.

I don't know where I'd live, but I was more than sure I could find somewhere.

I smiled when I saw grandfather sitting on a mat outside of his den. He, along with two guards, were waiting for Kouga. I took a quick kneel bowing my head, and then looked up at him smiling.

"Ayame," He breathed slowly, and I nodded for him to continue, "If…"

He just sighed then, and gave me a very earnest smile, reaching out and patting my shoulder.

"Love grows," He said calmly, and my smile was wiped away. He didn't understand that I was leaving, and I couldn't tell him or anyone. No one was to know, they would just know that Kouga was their new leader.

It was only a matter of minutes before the head guards ran up, yelling out that Kouga was nearby and coming quickly.

I took a deep sigh, before taking my place next to grandfather and bowing my head.

"Heya, pops," A cocky voice filtered my ears mere seconds later.

-------------------:---------------------

Disclaimer: I do not own Inu Yasha, the characters, Japan, or so on. You should all know this, though. I mean, seriously.

AN: As I was writing this, I figured that Ayame could "die" but Kouga would still run the pack. As they have mated and conjoined their packs, they have become one pack, and, you know, eventually one of them is bound to die but the pack is to keep going.

In deeper thought on this, I was figuring how it would work out for the kids (usually the predecessor of the royalty) and that Kouga and Kagome mating would have a half-demon. Now, remember, this is a Kouga/Ayame ficlet, so let's not go all into that, hmm? And anyways, it was Kouga would loved Kagome and wanted her, so obviously he must have not cared about breeding half-demons.

This is just so you understand how I was writing this, and I didn't just make it all up off the top of my head without a floor plan.


	2. The Beginnings

A Petal Down The River

By Rose

:.:Is Hate Not A Form Of Love:.:

"Heya, pops," It kept ringing in my head a thousand times over and over and over again, taunting me, poking at me, laughing at me if you will. I looked up under my bangs and Kouga, who stood defiantly in front of Grandfather.

However, a deep rumbling proved to be Grandfather laughing, and I looked over at him nearly shell-shocked. Was he serious in not caring that Kouga disrespected him as so?

"Kouga, my dear boy, sit down, sit down," Grandfather talked quicker now, as if to get this down, and held out a wrinkly hand for Kouga to sit. He did so, promptly falling to the floor cross-legged and resting an elbow on his knee.

"So… Ayame's offer," Grandfather said, looking at me for approval and I nodded, "still stands, do you accept?"

There was a slight pause, and from what I saw, Kouga's face fell into a frown.

Did that mean he was going to say yes and he was that deeply sad about it? Don't worry, Kouga…

"I accept," his voice was cold, as if he were setting his life in stone for eternal torment. Maybe he thought he was, but I wish I could tell him that he wasn't. It'd only be a few days, only a few days to make sure that everything was perfectly set up-that everything was in working order and that he really did own the tribe. I'd leave then, I'd be gone. It'd only be two, maybe three days at max.

Grandfather smiled and nodded.

"The festivities will be tonight," he said, laughing and hitting his knee. I groaned, and lowered my eyes again. I had nothing to say to Kouga, to Grandfather, to anyone. I don't know how I'd have re-acted had I not had a plan fore-made in my mind.

As night came, we set up everything. The males of the tribes went out to hunt for the large meal we'd consume, and the females cleaned up everything and set out to make everything wonderful. After Grandfather and Kouga left, I went to my own quarters of Grandfather's den and laid down to think. After a few hours of leisure, I got prepared fro the festivities. As I was the one to be mated, I had to dress in according to beauty and innocence, and I did.

Grandfather had a kimono that he gave me, a gift that was given to him and his first mate, and told me I could wear it. I put it on, and smiled sadly at him as he tied up any of the loose strings on the kimono.

This would be my first, and last kimono, and my first and last mating festivity.

It wasn't until a bit before the actual festivities that I saw Kouga. I wanted to tell his sad eyes that everything would be alright- and that he really wasn't going to be stuck with me forever.

Even if he did mate with me, and I bit into him claiming as mine, Kagome was human-and they didn't go by that sort of rituals. He'd be free to be with Kagome the minute I left, and he would be.

"You'll be so happy," I whispered sadly, and walked away from where he was. I knew he couldn't hear me, or even probably see me, but it made me feel just the slightest bit better to tell him.

As night came, Grandfather pulled me aside and sat me down. He gave me a weak, and quick smile, before patting me on the shoulder twice.

"Ayame," he said quietly at first, and then coughed to clear his voice, "Ayame, you will do so well with Kouga. The tribe will prosper, you will have pups, everything will be better, so why are you so sad?"

"I am doing this for the tribe," I answered, and it was the truth, "but not out of love."

Grandfather smiled, and patted my head.

"You will grow to love him, like he will grow to love you," he whispered happily, as if that would make everything alright. I smiled at him, and got up and gave a curt nod of my head.

After I left that room, I went to where the other wolves were gathering for the festivities. They were all talking loudly amongst eachother and laughing. Scanning my eyes, I saw that Kouga had yet to join them. Taking a deep breath, I went forth.

-------------------:---------------------

Disclaimer: I do not own Inu Yasha, the characters, Japan, or so on. You should all know this, though. I mean, seriously.

AN: I'd like to know about demon marriage rituals. I understand about the mating process, but I really haven't heard anything on how they conjoin for marriage. I'd figure it was nothing, but I've read a few stories where they add in their own marriage thing…

I really just want to have a festivity sort of thing, a party, the mating, and then the next day the legal contraction. And then, of course, Ayame runs away bladda, bladda.

Oh, while the next chapter will contain a lemon, I'll put warnings all over it so you know. It'll just be in that chapter, and only in the "warning signs". This is so I don't have to change the whole entire fanfiction's rating because of one little scene.

I understand some of you may go "Well what if little kids read it?" they have just as much access to my next chapter as they do to any other lemony fictions on any site anywhere, including this site.

Also, thanks for the reviews. (: They mean a lot when it comes to adding new chapters.

–nods-


	3. The Pains

A Petal Down The River

By Rose

:.:One Second Isn't Enough:.:

A part of me felt nice being here, with friends and family laughing and smiling. We were weak, and yet strong in our own sense. I wanted to be with them, with the other couples, laughing and smiling and dancing. I wanted to be happy again.

I wish naivety of a child could be washed away with a few tears. I could have grown from this-all of it. My obsession, my love, my Kouga. I wonder… I wonder, does he cry for Kagome like I cried for him? Would he even care if I left?

I felt bad for being selfish-even if it was for only tonight. I'd wait till he fell asleep, gave it an hour, and I'd leave. I felt someone tap me on the shoulder, and turning around, I faced Kouga. He looked as smug as ever.

"Mate," he said calmly, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. The way everything looked at that moment made me want to cry. There he stood, in all his glory, the blue night lights from the sky eliciting a soft touch to all his skin. The laughter of life behind her came to her ears, drawing her out of her reverie.

"…Kouga," I said, and felt like I was about to jump into a pit of hell.

"Would you dance with me, Ayame?" He said calmly, looking past me. I wanted to scream at him 'Don't you see me!', but I held back, and nodded.

When he took my hand, and glided out to where the other mates danced, I felt for once that I wasn't doing this alone. I felt like I wasn't the only one jumping head first into a mistake. He took my right hand in his left, raised it, and put the other on my waist. I put my left hand on his shoulder, and put my head on it soon after, facing away from him. I let the tears come then, slowly and softly.

"You're," I began, slowly, taking a breath so I wouldn't cry out, "being nice."

He chuckled at this, and I smacked him playfully. All of it stopped, and I felt him look at me.

"Ayame… you're crying," he said blandly, and I shrug my shoulders.

"Yes," I whispered, and I knew he didn't need any more of a reply then that.

The night commenced, and went on for several more hours before people started going home. After the first dance, Kouga went off to chat with the other males of the tribe, and I went to talk with Grandfather. Somewhere past the middle of the night, Kouga came to get me, and Grandfather gave me a knowing smile.

We took what gifts were ours, our stomachs full, back to the cave that was promised ours upon mating, and we sat down on the makeshift pile of hay and dead boar skin. Kouga looked at me, and sighed, grumbling slightly.

"Let's get it over with," he said, as if it were the most painful thing ever. And it was.

Deep in my heart, I knew it was.

WARNING. LEMON. OMG. This means there's no plot in this part, just sex. JUST SEX. You do NOT have to read this in order to get the rest of the story. Scroll down to finish the rest of the story. Please note, I wanted to keep this as like… not sexual as possible, so if you were expecting four play and all out sexual shit-I'm sorry.

He reached over to me, lightly grabbing the "dress" off my shoulders and pulling them down to expose my upper torso-save for the under wrappings. He leaned over then, still in his seating spot next to me, and began kissing my shoulder. I wanted nothing more to make him happy, so I tilted my head away, and he moved his mouth up to suck on my neck. I closed my eyes in t his bliss, and felt the tears well up.

He adjusted his seating onto my lap, and continued suckling, running his hand up the side of my stomach.

I feel shame.

I raised my own hands, dead to me, and stroked the side of his face. He came up to kiss my lips, and I dived for his own neck to start licking. I didn't want him to kiss me-kissing meant love, sex… well, sex I could do. I had to do it. It was a matter of seconds before we had stripped ourselves, facing each other naked.

He walked forward first, about to kiss me again, and I turned away. I could feel his penis against my crotch, and I blushed slightly at this. He put a hand between us and began stroking my crotch. I moaned lightly, wrapping my hands around him, before he pushed me onto the bed. He softly fell on top of me, and asked if I was ready. I gave a nod, he pushed himself into me. I screamed out, raised my hand quickly to bite it so he wouldn't kiss me, and waited.

The tears flowed freely now, the pain of losing my virginity had hurt. He waited a bit, before I nodded through my tears, and he began pushing himself in and out of me. He bent forward then, and bit into my shoulder/neck, and I repeated it. It was minutes before he came, but I couldn't push myself to. I faked it, though, and, for the most part, I believe he thought it was real. He fell onto to me, panting, and smiling.

---END LEMON LIKE THING… YEAH…---

It was only an hour before he was sound asleep. He didn't lay with me, or cuddle, or even try and do anything. He had moved himself off of me and had rolled a good distance away. I layed there, crying to myself quietly, before I rolled over and got up. I already had packed a small amount of clothes, and I could take some of the gifts that were food. I grabbed my furs and clothes, threw them on hastily, and ran out into the cold night.

I had no idea where I was going, how I was going to get there, or how long I would stay, but I was gone. I had finally fulfilled Kouga's dream…

And for one night, for just a short time, he filled mine, too.


	4. The Wind

A Petal Down The River

By Rose

:.:The Grass Is Greener Here.:.:

As it were, I was wandering around aimlessly. I knew how it would go, I had played it out in my head. For hours I would run, going no real way and having no real motives, but I would never turn back around or even head in the slight direction of my tribe.

I wondered if Kouga would understand why I did this, or if he'd make up stupid excuses like 'That stupid bitch, always causing trouble'. It hurt to think of him as me doing this just to be troublesome, but sometimes the real motives of why we're doing things just have to be kept secret.

----x---- KOUGS Pov. ----x----

It was quite early when I awoke. The sun was barely coming over and everything was turning a soft shade of blue. Yes, today would be a great day to reign over the tribe.

I reached over to wrap my arms around my possession, when I noticed she was not there. Looking over my shoulder I noticed she wasn't behind me either. Taking a whiff of the air I began to notice she hadn't been here for hours.

"WHAT?" I yelled, jumping up. How could I have not heard her leave? When did she leave? Why? Stupid female!

I threw on what clothes of mine I could find and quickly left. Only a few of the tribesmen were up and they waved nicely but I didn't wave back. I had a stupid mate to catch.

---Ayame's---

I had traveled some odd miles, not really knowing how many but knowing I was going. I was free now, a mated demon on her own. I would never find love again, but Kouga could. Ayame was human-they didn't have the same mating rituals from what I could tell.

Humans always had lesser in everything, really. Except when it came to Kouga, then they were better.

I let out a sigh, and shook my head. I had managed to find a river, not too big but I could certainly bathe in it. I placed my feet forth into the muddy banks, and let them rest for a bit, leaning back onto the grassier bit and closing my eyes.

"Free," I spoke calmly, letting the wind carry the words away. It wasn't too much wind, however, but it was a nice brisk day. A perfect day to spend with the one you love…

"Damn it," I heard, and froze quickly. Kouga?... How could he have caught up that quickly? …

Wait…

Caught up? He wasn't supposed to follow me. I got up slowly, being in a ditch all he could do was smell me unless he looked down. Maybe he was looking for Kagome-had I unnaturally knowing followed her?

I crawled acrossed the bottom of the ditch, semi in the water and semi not. I had to be careful not to splash, though. If he found me down here he'd laugh, say he was out looking for Kagome and that I was worthless. I feared the tears that began welling up in my eyes, knowing that Kouga would smell them and instantly know where I was. My scent was everywhere, everywhere around here and for all he knows I left hours ago down stream. If I cried, though, he'd smell the tears.

And he'd laugh.

He'd laugh because I loved and he mated. He'd laugh because I wanted and he needed. He used me to become the tribe leader, and I gave it to him. How could I have? I could have taken the tribe on my own!

I didn't notice I had stopped walking, or that my head was bent, or that I was looking at a pair of masculine feet.

"AYAME!" The voice screeched in anger, and I felt everything on me tense. He'll say something mean, he'll hate me, he'll hurt me.

He'll kill me.

The air blew again, this time brushing both our hair to the side. I only looked at him for a second and I felt like crying. His face was a calm, serene look, but I knew what was behind it. Kagome was behind it. Always in his eyes could I see her, could I feel her when he touched me. I wasn't Ayame when he touched me, I was Kagome. I was someone else to him, and he wasn't even looking at me now, he was looking at her.

I bowed my head again, my feet muddy, my legs dirty, my hands covered in grass and stains and leaning along the side of the ditch. I felt the tears now, I felt them as they fell down my cheeks and onto the banks, but I never felt anything like this before.

So worthless, but so fulfilled.

It was a matter of seconds before I felt him, his whole aura surrounding me and hugging me, before he was the actual one hugging me.

"Oh, Ka-" He froze, and I tensed. Of course, he'd be thinking about her at a time like this.

"Ayame… I'm…" I felt him tense, him get angry. How dare he get angry! I pushed him away, stomping on his toe, and racing up the ditch side.


	5. The Truth

A Petal Down The River

By Rose

:.:Alarm Clocks Are Broken.:.:

I felt him racing after me, I could hear him. I felt his presence encase over me.

"How can you understand?" I screamed, racing up the hill, tears blurring my vision. Maybe I was a child, I was acting as one.

"Ayame…" he breathed out, grasping onto my wrist.

It felt like everything stopped, and if it wasn't for him holding onto me I'd have been lurched off this planet into the unknown. In my mind, I was already lost. I sighed, bowing my head so I wouldn't see him. I felt secure, down beneath my hair.

"Kouga…" I breathed out, taking a deep breath again, "I… love… I loved…"

He sighed, and I felt his hand slacken on my wrist, however it was still there. I lifted my head up, tears running down my face now, my nose clogging, and looked over my shoulder at him. He looked so beautiful like that, so tussled and yet calm at the same time. How could I love someone so much who didn't feel the same? Why…

"Do you know what it's like to love someone who loves someone else?" I asked softly, knowing he wouldn't answer it. It was one of those question statements… one that never needed an answer.

"Ayame…" he moved forward, and I just stood there as he draped himself around me.

"I understand," I said softly into his shoulder, "…I understand, _now, _that you do not love me…"

I smiled, and as he opened his mouth to protest I put a finger to his lips to silence him. He looked at me, his eyes twitching with anticipation to prove me wrong, a feat he could never achieve now.

"You love Kagome, Kouga. Maybe… you're confused, or, you're just so far gone you'll mate me for a tribe and something to your name now that Inu Yasha has what it is you truly desire…" My smile disappeared, and I felt so dead.

"I was so naive…" I said calmly, laughing and shrugging, my face still placid, "to think, someone as great as you would love me. I am… it was so much easier to think I could give you this one thing-the tribe. I gave you my love and you did not want it, but you wanted the tribe and I could give you that, the one thing you'd accept."

I saw the way he looked at me, and I knew he was realizing all of this.

"Kouga, I can't live with you," I stated calmly, as though I was a professional at this. I backed away, straightening my back, and gave him a foreboding glare. My tears were still running, but everything else about me was erect and calm.

"I can't live knowing you love another while I love you. It ate away at me before, but being with you always… being so close to you… I can't do it, do you understand?" I asked, looking at him through my tears. He didn't answer.

Maybe… he just didn't care.

"I'm going to leave now, Kouga. I'm going to go somewhere, and live there, until something fills what was once my heart. You'll always have it, you know, my heart. But my love… is dead," I shrugged, and backed away, before turning and leaving. There was nothing to run from now, it was all over.

You'll go home, Kouga, and pretend to love another, until you eat her heart, too.

---x---

It was three days, four moon glances since I last saw you, my Kouga.

Since I last held you, since you last held me. I am no different now, my Kouga.

I have become something, though. A woman… a wolf… a person. A god, if you will, in my own eyes. I have prospered from this, grew away from love and attachments and became someone of just power.

I am Ayame.

And I do not need you.

(I think I might just end it here. D: )


	6. The Life

A Petal Down The River

By Rose

:.:The Baby Fell Over.:.:

(AN at bottom.)

After awhile I settled in to a house not far from a town. I had to wear a cloak when I went into town, and I had to be careful no one saw the real me too much, but otherwise living here was fine. I'd have joined another tribe, but I doubted acceptance unless marriage came first, and since well… since Kouga, love and marriage seemed like nothing more than a blister.

My house was a fine one, a one story with a two rooms. I missed living in a cave, I missed running wild and hunting animals, but now I grew my own… live stock, if you will. It wasn't like I didn't enjoy my new life, it was just that it was always missing something my old life had, and therefore seemed like one less reason to live it.

The day was fresh, and I was planting new flowers for the spring to come in my garden, relaxing in my new world.

"Four months, my Kouga. Surely you're married by now," I sighed out, wiping away a faint tear. Everything's a reminder of you, but I have no word of the actual you. Are you okay? Did you die? How is life for you?

This day, however, would serve to be that of a great fate. Kagome was in town.

I didn't know until later in the evening when I was relaxing in a chair I had bought in town. I was out on my lawn, sewing a new cloak, enjoying life in my own depression, when I actually heard her.

"Ayame? AYAME!" I looked up at her and at first I couldn't recognize her. How she had aged! Getting up I ran over to her, giving her a brief hug. I was hugging the girl that tore apart my love, my world, my life, and yet I couldn't blame her. While hugging her I got a glance over her shoulder at the most odd sight.

"Kagome?" I asked, nodding towards the little child with brown hair. Kagome laughed, and suddenly patted her stomach in a motherly way. My eyes widened, and I even screamed a bit.

"He's _yours?" _I asked in enthusiasm, and the boy seemed to blush, grabbing a hold of Kagome's kimono and hiding behind her. She nodded, and was smiling so widely I was waiting for her jaw to snap.

"Inu yasha's, too, you know. We got married and everything." She held up her hand to show me her ring, and I quickly dragged her and her child inside my small house.

"Are you hungry? Thirsty? What are you doing here?" I was hurriedly preparing a meal for her, anything I could find that wasn't meat induced, and I poured a glass of milk for her son. He blushed again and hid behind his mother as I handed it to him. Kagome laughed, grabbed the cup and patted my hand.

"Oh, Ayame, calm down. I'm not going anywhere, I live on the other side of town. I'm surprised I haven't seen you…" She raised a brow, "Actually, I think I'm more surprised your'e here."

I smiled sadly and sat down on the other side of my table from her, shrugging.

"I had nowhere else to go…" Laughing in a fake way, I patted her hand, "How is Inu Yasha? And the others?"

Kagome stayed for a few hours, despite the dismay of her son, and we shared stories of all that had happened since we last saw each other. As it was, the little child that I was looking at was really an adopted child Kagome had found on the side of the road. The one in her stomach, though, was three months old and Inu Yasha and Kagome had conceived it. I was so happy for her.

"And what of you?" She asked suddenly, and I began to cry. The words 'be strong' left me, and I felt beaten and torn and nothing but a battered cup lost in the corner. No one cared if I cried anymore, not even me.

"I live here…" I sighed, and wiped away my tears, "alone."

Kagome nodded, and reached over to hug me. Her son, watching us intently, tugged on her kimono again.

"Mommy!" He whined, and Kagome and I shared a laughed.

"Yes, alright. I'll come visit again, okay, Ayame? Don't keep yourself cooped up over here… it's not good for you."

She kept her word, and for one week she visited nearly every day. I sent back with her some vegetables and meat, flowers, anything I felt would be a good human gift.

One day, however, Kagome came with a letter that she slid across the table. A look fo sadness dawned on her face, and I couldn't help but raise a brow as I opened it.

_**Kagome,**_

_**(And the other one)**_

_Hello, dear friends. I, Kouga, am getting married exactly four days from this one and wish for your blessing upon the day of marriage. You're both invited, as well as two guests with previous word. As I know you have a son, please leave him at home. Thank you._

_-Kouga_

I smiled, and nodded, wiping away the tears.

"I couldn't expect him to stay alone like me," I said, looking up at Kagome who was smiling very oddly.

"We received that mail two days ago, and sent a reply back," She began, and I nodded.

"Two days till his wedding? That sounds nice. Did you want me to watch Shishou?" (Interruption: Shishoutheir son.)

"No, we want you to come with us."

I sat there, staring at her. I wanted to say no, I wanted to yell at her and say 'do you think I'd feel pride in letting him see what has happened to me? He'd laugh, tell me I was nothing more than a child.' But I couldn't help but feel this inclination in the inside of me, biting at me, yelling at me 'Go! GO!'

Five hours later I was packed. I didn't bring much, just what I thought I would need for the journey, and a gift for the newlyweds. I wanted to rip out my heart and wrap that in grass and say 'Here, it's broken, take it.'

The walk from my house and Kagome's to Kouga's was a long and boring one. Inu Yasha brought a horse for me, and Kagome rode on Inu yasha's back, and life went on just as a merry little parade.

Kagome was getting a bit uneasy as we neared Kouga's tribe, though, and I couldn't help but ask why. At this question, even Inu Yasha was laughing and looking away some, and I began to feel nervous myself.

"I… he doesn't know you're coming, Ayame."

-------------------:---------------------

AN: Alright, so it's a Sunday night, okay? And I'm sitting there enjoying this head ache of mine while Brian is all "So this girl…" and I got bored. And then I was like, dude. Check your email. So the other part of me that always talks to the one part of me that is foolish said, fine fine. Or something. Anyways, so I checked my email and I got this review, right? And it was from Sora. And I was sitting there thinking… dude.

You have a review.

And I got bored. So then I was like "you know what? Your other story (As I'm writing a real life story with less grammar errors and more of a plot line) is currently on hiatus and Brian's just being a dofus, why don't you write some more?" And so here it is. Another chapter. Probably to be followed by more… probably. Yeah. That sounds good. So… well hello. (:


	7. The Wedding

A Petal Down The River

By Rose

:.: They're Bent On World Discussion After Tea..:.:

I remember the ride to Kouga's, the ride on the horse's back. I felt useless then, old and ancient. It wasn't that I couldn't run, or didn't want to, it was just that I felt so… tired, and whether Inu Yasha or Kagome noticed this was beyond me. When we arrived, Kagome had a certain hut with two wolves of Kouga's tribe to put me in, as at least they knew I was coming. I was to stay there for the next day or so, 'try to stay low', that sort of thing. They wanted me to see Kouga, to talk to him, I could see it in Kagome's eyes. I was actually quite surprised that Inu Yasha would even attend this, but I could see what Kagome and children have done to him in the past years. And what about yourself, Ayame? Hmm? What has become of you?

Nothing.

It was like a rock following down a hollowed out well, not a drip of water or life. The rock was falling in slow motion, moving in a mocking manner, slowly and carelessly falling, and there was no end. The wedding, the children they would no doubt have, the life they would no doubt live in happiness and joy… it all would be nothing to me, and I would make sure of it. Love was not something I needed now, not something I even wanted. Of course not.

Kagome had picked out a small little outfit for me. It wasn't a custom wolf tribe outfit, but then I couldn't have expected Kagome to get one and I could already see the possible questions from anyone she would ask. She got me a kimono of a light red color. It was very plain, small, and ugly, really. I didn't ask any questions, and if anything I was sort of happy, I wouldn't stand out in a crowd, and that was obviously Kagome's intent. She told me a hundred times how she wanted me to talk to Kouga, her and Inu Yasha the same, but I think they really just wanted me to move on with my life.

It was kind of like when someone dies, but all you have is the proof of word from someone else, and you just can't move on until you actually see they're dead. I'm not saying it'll make it any less devastating, but it always helps when you want to move on, didn't it?

On the second day of our arrival, a few hours before the wedding, I was getting ready when Inu Yasha stopped by the hut I had been staying at.

"Look," He said, his eyes glaring at me like I had done something wrong, "I don't want to be here anymore than you do, but I'm doing this for Kagome, so if anything you could at least _act _like you're happy."

He left after that, and I sighed. I knew Kagome didn't care for me as deeply as she did her other friends, and I was okay with that because we barely knew each other, but I also knew Kagome had a soft heart, and I was hurting it.

Even in my own pain I have to hurt others.

-x-The wedding –x-

The wedding was a beautiful ceremony, complete with rum and dancing, everything was perfect. I danced with Kagome one or twice but her and Inu Yasha seemed intent on being alone, and I was okay with that. It was the first time being out of the hut, and actually being back in this tribe I had once been apart of, and a few people recognized me. I was scared they'd shun me, or tell Kouga, but I could see it in their actions that they wanted me to know they knew who I was, but that they weren't going to do anything.

After awhile of dancing, everyone began to slow down and applaud, and I knew it was because either Kouga or his wife has shown up now. I was piling my way through the crowd, pushing and shoving, when a hand grasped my wrist and punctured through the skin causing blood to come out. I stared at my wrist dazed for a second, as if this wasn't possible, and then began tugging. When the hand began to tug back, pulling me away, I began to panic and pull harder, grabbing at people around me who just shrugged their shoulders to get me off them as they all tried to see the bride or groom.

The hand began tugging harder, pulling me into the darkened forest, and the more I tried to pull away the more blood that came. I tried to claw at the hand, and I even tried to scream but no one could hear me over the applause.

Suddenly everything went black, and I found myself laying on something wet. It felt like moss, or perhaps smashed down grass. I tried to get up but I found my hand was numb and it hurt to move it. Have I really became this weak over the years? Or was Kouga right in saying that I was always weak? Was _that _why he never loved me?...

"Ayame, yes?" A voice said, sounding feminine but masculine at the same time.

"Oh, Ayame, the words I have heard of you, have you come back to this place in jealousy?" There was a slight amount of laughter, and I growled. I couldn't see who it was, or smell, but their voice was giving away their whereabouts quite clearly. However, due to my state and tiredness I couldn't attack, especially since I knew next to nothing of my capturer.

"Kouga doesn't love you, and he never has. He laughed at you, mocked you for loving him, and yet even when you're kicked and shoved down, humiliated by your weak patheticness, do you come back to him. Why don't you just become his slave, you deplorable little girl?"

"Who are you?" I wheezed out, looking around in slight confusion and a bewildered manner, I could feel more blood slipping from the large gash, though not enough to kill me it still felt like a stinging pain.

"Tired?" The voice asked, and I cocked a brow.

"Sleeping poison, you wouldn't need much to pass out, but it does take a bit for it to work."

"Are you going to kill me?" I asked, grasping at my wrist trying to wipe whatever poison was put in it in a frantic state. I was sweating profusely now, my eyes adjusting to the darkness in a blurred way.

"Worse, much worse."


End file.
